16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
