from now on my penis is your penis
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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