her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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