So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
