Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
and you fell through a lawn chair
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
