Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
