3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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