I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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