This girl is more easily done than said...
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
