I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
