You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
