happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
