Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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