Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
