I looked at my own cervix.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
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