I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
