Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Randomize
