I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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