mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
