I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
