like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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