I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
