I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
