Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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