Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
