hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
