dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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