I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
