Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
