i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
