I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
