After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
