I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
