Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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