thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
