So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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