my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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