i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
