how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
