Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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