he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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