How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
