pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
