honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I just want nice things and good sex
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
