i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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