Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm way too hungover for life right now
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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