apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
