Who did Billy Mays play for?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
