There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
