So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
How does it feel to date your dad?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
