Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
