did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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